Is it domestic violence if there is no physical abuse?

Domestic violence is a serious issue, and it includes far more than physical abuse.

Spouses and exes can be stalked, prevented from getting a job, sexually abused, isolated from friends, or terrified when their partner drives recklessly. They can be verbally or emotionally abused too. These behaviors all qualify as domestic violence. 

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) identifies domestic violence as “intimate partner violence” (IPV), and it can occur among current and formers spouses as well as dating partners. IPV affects millions of people in the U.S. every year and causes damage ranging from missed work days and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) to substance abuse and heart problems. According to the CDC’s definition, IPV is abuse or aggression that occurs in a romantic relationship; it can vary in severity and frequency. Even one episode of IPV counts. IPV can include the following:

·      Physical violence. A person hurts or tries to hurt a partner by hitting, kicking, or using another type of physical force.

·      Sexual violence. A person forces or attempts to force a partner to take part in a sex act, sexual touching, sexual humiliation, or a non-physical sexual event (like sexting) when the partner does not or cannot consent.

·      Stalking. A person inflicts repeated, unwanted contact and/or attention on a partner; these intrusions harass and frighten the victim and can also raise safety concerns for someone close to them.

·      Psychological aggression. A person uses verbal and non-verbal communication with the intent to harm a partner mentally or emotionally and/or to exert control over a partner. Emotional abuse can also be a precursor to physical violence.

What is psychological and emotional abuse?

Experts explicitly identify psychological and emotional abuse as any nonphysical behavior or attitude designed to control, subdue, punish, or isolate another person through the use of humiliation or fear. Insults; name-calling; dominance; gaslighting, which is a manipulation tool; ridicule; and the use of intimate knowledge to degrade and humiliate are common examples. Acts containing a physical threat are also forms of emotional abuse; these acts include punching a wall, shaking a fist at you, or driving recklessly while you’re in the car.

In addition, property damage (e.g. throwing out important documents, selling valuables) and financial abuse are considered emotional abuse. These acts are “rooted in the desire of one partner to have power and control over the other,” according to the National Domestic Violence Hotline. In financial abuse, which can affect more than one-quarter of abuse victims, the abuser controls their partner’s finances, restricts access to resources, and can prevent the victim from working or earning an income. Financial abuse can lead to negative impact on credit score, ability to find work, wrecked finances, and being financially trapped in a marriage.

Non-physical violence: the impact is real

It’s important to remember that non-physical forms of violence may not be visible like a black eye, but it can be so damaging to physical health as well as mental well-being. According to the CDC, about 75% of female IPV survivors and 48% of male survivors experience some form of injury related to IPV. Negative health outcomes include conditions affecting the heart, muscles, bones and digestive, reproductive, and nervous systems. Specific conditions that can develop include chronic pain, irritable bowel syndrome, and heart palpitations.

Mental health problems can include depression, anxiety, PTSD symptoms, suicidal thoughts, binge drinking, smoking, and sexual risk activity.

Domestic violence can take many forms

In conclusion, domestic violence can be just as damaging as physical violence. Emotional and psychological abuse, sexting or sexual insults, and financial abuse are some examples. Abuse may start gradually and then get worse and more pervasive. It’s essential to leave an abuser in order to protect your and your children’s health and safety. Avoiding dependence on an abuser, which can take root early, is key to pivoting and pursuing a divorce. 

Don’t delay if you’re a victim of abuse. Reach out to a domestic abuse hotline, a trusted friend, and a great attorney.

If you are ready to consult with an experienced matrimonial and family law attorney in Westchester County, New York City, or surrounding areas, contact Faith Miller today. With more than 35 years of experience, Faith provides legal representation across a broad spectrum of New York matrimonial and family law issues, including domestic violence, child custody, financial abuse and equitable distribution, child support and spousal maintenance, and other complex financial issues confronting divorcing couples. 

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