Determining Child Custody Arrangements
An experienced attorney will provide the crucial information, insight, and judgment you need to help you determine the most successful child custody arrangement for you and your children.
The standard the Courts consider is the “best interests” of your children. Knowing what this means and how to meet this standard is far from easy in any case, especially when parents have conflict and concerns about their relationship with the children and the prospect of learning to co-parent with their soon-to-be ex-spouse.
It’s important to understand that in the eyes of the Court, there are two aspects to custody: residential, which is each parent’s access with the children; and legal, which is decision-making. Simply because the children may reside with one parent does not mean that he or she has greater decision-making authority. In most cases, Courts want to see both parents having an active and positive role in the lives of their children.
Identifying the best access schedule for the children relies on the combined wisdom of parents, attorneys, the Courts, child psychologists, and research on this question. To help determine the “best interests” of the children, Courts in New York may consider the following factors:
· which parent has been the main care giver/nurturer of the children
· the parenting skills of each parent, their strengths and weaknesses and their ability to provide for the children's special needs, if any
· the mental and physical health of the parents
· what the children want, depending on the age of the children
· whether there has been domestic violence in the family
· work schedules and child-care plans of each parent
· the children's relationships with brothers, sisters, and members of the rest of the family
· each parent's ability to cooperate with the other parent and to encourage a relationship with the other parent, when it is safe to do so
Here are key factors and core needs of children that help to determine best interests, according to Edward Kruk, Ph.D., author of Co-Parenting After Divorce:
· maintaining meaningful parental relationships with love of both parents.
· considering children’s ages and personalities
· shielding children from ongoing parental conflict and family violence
· providing stability and consistency – this core need is not just about maintaining your child’s school, schedule, and friends but rather it’s defined by the uninterrupted nurturing from and access to both parents.
· stability in daily routines
· financial security
· protection and safety – especially from parents’ conflict
· children’s sense of autonomy – including the freedom and ability to choose as is age appropriate
· children’s freedom of opinion – respecting your child’s voice
· children’s need for responsibility and how to achieve that
· family schedule
· career and social commitments of each parent
· children’s academic and extracurricular activities
· childcare arrangements and distance between parents’ homes
Evaluating these factors and core needs provides the basis for evaluating the most successful child custody arrangement for your family. There are no “set” arrangements. We will adjust the schedule that you feel is best suited to your children’s present needs. Here are a few examples of custody arrangements that may adjust as your children get older:
Shared Custody
· 2 2 3 Plan. Monday and Tuesday with Mom, Wednesday and Thursday with Dad, Friday through Monday with Mom. Then the schedule flips with Monday and Tuesday with Dad
· 2 2 5 Plan. Monday and Tuesday always with Mom, Wednesday and Thursday always with Dad, and then alternating Friday through Sunday between the parents (one week with Mom, the next with Dad)
· Alternate plan week -- 1 week with Mom, week 2 with Dad
Primary residential custody
· Many parents oppose the disruption of going back and forth between two homes. Therefore, it’s a common arrangement to live primarily with one parent and have visitation every other weekend with the other. Often, the “non-custodial” parent will also have a dinner or overnight visit during the week.
· If one parent lives out of state, works long hours, or travels frequently, primary custody with the other parent becomes necessary, and the plan for visitation can vary.
In the end, I will help you craft the most successful child custody arrangement for you and your children.
Faith Miller provides legal representation across a broad spectrum of matrimonial and family law issues, ranging from equitable distribution, child support and spousal maintenance, and the myriad of financial issues confronting divorcing couples to domestic violence, child custody, abuse, neglect, international custody proceedings and pre-nuptial and post-nuptial agreements. During her extensive career, she has represented clients in hundreds of contested cases in the matrimonial and family courts in the New York metropolitan area.
